Malifaux - Gremlin   - So'mer Teeth Jones

Som'er Teeth

For a Gremlin, Som'er Teeth Jones has lived a fairly long time. This comes from making other Gremlins do all the dangerous things for him. Som'er realized early on in his life that there were two things that would make people follow you: a loud voice and a big hat. The voice he had, the hat he needed to acquire. After taking it off some merchant who wandered too close to the Bayou, it was an easy task to get many of the Bayou Gremlins to follow him, especially since once a few of them started working together they got things done a lot faster and word spread that there were certain benefits to working with Som'er.

Anyone would have had a difficult time keeping all the Gremlins on the same page, but Som'er hadmade an important discovery: moonshine. This sweet potion has kept the spirits of his gremlin followers high enough that they will follow him into battle after battle against the Guild outposts near the Bayou. They have even been focused enough to learn how to train some of the wild pigs that share their domain, riding them into combat like horses and also using them for food when they are too lazy to go out hunting.

It was during one of these raids that Som'er earned his nickname. He was injured during the combat, taking a blow to the face that knocked some of his teeth out. Instead of falling to the ground and crying, he spat and said, “Som'er here and som'er there.” Sometime after this battle, wanted posters with his picture on them began to appear in and around the Bayou. Som'er takes great pride in showing them off, proud to have been able to avoid the Guild patrols for so long.

Box Set

Somer Teeth Jones’ box comes with eight models, including Somer himself. His totems, the Skeeters, bring an incredible amount of speed to the crew, and their constant buzzing always proves annoying to Somer’s enemies. Lenny is about their opposite when it comes to speed, but the big lug is tough and makes sure to protect the smaller Gremlins around him. There are a lot of these smaller Bayou Gremlins, but what they lack in strength, durability, and brains they make up for with… well, there are a lot of them. 


Somer is a versatile master of the Gremlins faction. He is capable of supporting his crew with a variety of different upgrades, but can also put out some impressive damage with his Boomer gun and summon new models into a fight. His summoning is limited to Piglets, which only show up after he kills another model with his Pig Prodder and uses its Come & Get It Trigger, but the Family Tree upgrade also allows Somer to summon Bayou Gremlins from other Bayou Gremlins. While Piglets and Bayou Gremlins tend to be a bit uncontrollable for most masters, Somer’s ability to manipulate (or just turn off) their Triggers makes them much easier for him to manage.

When combined with Somer’s Survival of the Fittest ability, which allows him to draw two cards whenever another Gremlin is killed near him, it’s not difficult to see why many Somer lists tend to favor quantity over quality. To level the playing field, Somer has the Bigger Hat Than You Action, which forces both him and his opponent to discard their entire hand. At first glance, this might seem crippling to Somer’s often weaker crew, but the Bayou Two Card ability allows Somer (and Bayou Gremlins) to cheat Fate with the top card of their Fate Deck. This isn’t exactly reliable, as Somer never quite knows just what the top card of his Fate Deck might be, but it does help to mitigate low flips without forcing Somer to play cards from his hand.

Somer’s upgrades tend towards providing additional support for his crew. The Pig Feed upgrade, for instance, calms down any pigs near him and keeps them from randomly charging off at the first thing they see, while Encouragement allows Somer to throw rocks at nearby Gremlins when they declare an action, granting them bonuses in exchange for a point of damage.  This dual focus on both Gremlins and Pigs makes Somer a bridge between the sometimes disparate halves of the Gremlin faction, and a good master to lead just about any crew the Gremlins can field.