DeadSlinger
10-05-2011, 03:56 PM
I was just admiring the new releases for October when I suddenly felt a similarity to Gobnait O`Lunasa, the guy from the spoof 12 Days of Christmas song by Frank Kelly. The one that starts off nice and ends with everyone fighting and carrying on with each other. Don`t Know what I`m on about? google it, you`ll be pleased you did, its hilarious. As a slow painter who has the tendency to come up with epicly grand schemes for basing and scenery to go with each crew that often never gets finished due to lack of time or the onset of another idea, I quickly start feeling a little overwhelmed. Anyway this is my version. I`m sure you could come up with something much better but this kept me amused for a while
12 Months of Wyrd
Month 1 (Nov 2010)
Dear Wyrd
Thankyou very much for the pictures of Novembers releases. I`ve just started a Lady J crew and have an Ortega crew and McMourning crew in waiting but look forward to receiving all of Novembers excellent releases as well.
Yours excitedly
Deadslinger
Month 2 (Dec 2010)
Dear Wyrd
I cannot tell you how surprised I was to see more beautiful must have releases for December (the month that is!), the Lucius boxset being a particular standout. Your products maintain a consistant quality. Lady J`s crew is nearing completion and Novembers releases sit proudly on my shelf next to my other 2 boxsets and various associated clam packs awaiting attention.
Yours loyally
Deadslinger
Month 3 (Jan 2011)
Dear Wyrd
You must be able to tap into my subconscious wish list as yet again all of this months releases are essential. With the release of the Taxidermist and Slop Haulers I now have an overwhelming desire to start a Gremlin crew, complete with Bayou scenery and gremlin village.Country music plays on the stereo as I place Decembers releases on an increasingly crowded shelf and get stuck into finishing Lady J`s crew. My wife`s frowning a bit at the amount of unstarted miniatures I`m amassing, but I`ve assured her that you probably wont be releasing anything else of interest to me for a while now and I`ll be starting on the previous releases very shortly.
I remain Loyally Yours
D
Month 4 (Feb 2011)
Dear Wyrd
I don`t Know if you read my last email, but my wifes looking slightly unamused as I order all of this months releases having just piled Januarys release onto the shelf above my painting table. This months mechanical Doves alone have inspired me to start a showgirls crew and all that goes with it. Lady J`s full crew with companions and accessories is finally complete and in an effort to convince the wife that I will get through this growing miniature mountain, I`ve started 2 new crews this month. The Ortega and McMourning crews now compete for limited table space whilst power metal plays on the stereo to facilitate a faster work ethic.
I remain a huge fan
D
Month 5 (March 2011)
Wyrd
Your creativity and imagination knows no bounds. March`s releases are fantastic. my shelf is beginning to groan a bit which is nothing compared to the wife, but I don`t want to seem unsupportive whilst you are producing such excellent products so have placed my order for all of this months releases as is becoming usual.
Your greatest fan
D
Month 6 (April 2011)
Wyrd
What are you trying to do to me? it isn`t that I don`t appreciate your productivity, but I`m falling behind on my sleep working all the overtime I can, to afford your new releases (and relevant older stock) and painting late into the night to clear the backlog. The shelf is beginning to list in a most alarming way. you must relax on your production schedule to allow me to catch up
D
Month 7 (May 2011)
Is this some sort of joke? I politely request that you allow me a little breathing space and you go and inspire the need for a neverborn crew with the beautiful Nekima and Blood Shaman minis. With the addition of last months releases my shelf is threatening complete exhaustion and with a horde of miniatures now crowding the table, the flesh construct has fell off the back and hooked into a plug socket. Any attempt to retrieve him delivers a jolt of electricity to my fragile body, deprived as it is of food and sleep as I spend every available moment trying to keep up with your relentless releases. Please lay off, it is not fair.
D
Month 8 (June 2011)
Wyrd
Who the hell gave you the right to demand more of my hard earned money with yet more absolutely essential purchases released this month. The Collodi boxset has inspired a full carnival, complete with fairground rides, stalls and puppet shows that will require a massive amount of time and effort. I haven`t eaten in weeks as I simply can`t afford the time for that as well. I`m now playing thrash metal on the stereo to try and speed up my production, miniatures are now crowding the table in a most disorganised fashion and I no longer know which belong to which crew. The Flesh Construct remains inaccessible and has been joined by a Warpig to complete a circuit with the metal table leg which gives me quite a start every time I attempt to stand. More and more additional crews and related scenery projects are being crammed onto the table and due to severe overcrowding and hasty construction and painting, the Insidious Madness hands are firmly stuck to Lucius backside whilst Somers face is firmly attached to Ophelias cleavage and Piglets nuzzle at various characters crotches! The whole scene looks like a grand decedant orgy in miniature. My wife is looking very annoyed with me and my maniacal frantic, bemused, helpless expression isn`t alleviating the problem.
D
Month 9 (July 2011)
Listen you Gremlins ass
I`m now playing old thrash records on 45rpm instead of 33rpm and straining to complete crews as fast as you`re producing vital releases such as the Dead Rider and Night Terrors for my Ressurectionists and inspiring a need for a Rasputina crew with Snowstorm while my poor wife is worried that we wont be able to afford the mortgage. I`m warning you, you`re making a Warhammer player of me.
D
Month 10 (August 2011)
Listen Piglet manure face
I hope you`ll be haunted by the image of me headbanging away to very fast,uproarious music whilst slinging glue and paint everywhere. It wasn`t a pleasant month with paint spillage and gluage mishaps.I managed to build up a good pace for a short while, but whilst hastily preparing minis I slipped and removed a finger which is going to slow my progress somewhat and in my current state of health I can ill afford the blood loss. Added to that my wife is now threatening divorce. It was bad enough knowing that I would have to order all of this months crucial Terraclips releases, but on top of that you scheming sons of witches make some special indispensable releases only available over the Gencon weekend. Where they`re all going to go when they arrive Lord knows.
Month 11 (September 2011)
You have broken my shelf you remorseless Rat Herders! The musics getting faster, the wifes getting angrier, the banks getting closer to re-possessing the house, I`m drowning in a sea of spiky metal miniatures doing me all sorts of mischief and Puppet Wars is released at the end of the month. I suppose you intend to keep up a relentless pace of new releases for that as well.......
Month 12 (Oct 2011)
Listen you slop bucket wearing gremlin
You have ruined my life. Septembers releases are yet to arrive, but I `m already in total chaos with no shelving and my wife's left to live with her mother. My record and CD collection is ruined by glue and paint and putty and blood from injuries sustained whilst negotiating the horde of miniatures and scenery flooding from my small hobby room. Octobers releases are some of your best yet and I have an urgent need for a Seamus crew having seen the alt. sculpt and Avatar and Molly`s finally here. And you call this a skirmish game played with small crews of miniatures.
I`m a broken man!
Deadslinger
12 Months of Wyrd
Month 1 (Nov 2010)
Dear Wyrd
Thankyou very much for the pictures of Novembers releases. I`ve just started a Lady J crew and have an Ortega crew and McMourning crew in waiting but look forward to receiving all of Novembers excellent releases as well.
Yours excitedly
Deadslinger
Month 2 (Dec 2010)
Dear Wyrd
I cannot tell you how surprised I was to see more beautiful must have releases for December (the month that is!), the Lucius boxset being a particular standout. Your products maintain a consistant quality. Lady J`s crew is nearing completion and Novembers releases sit proudly on my shelf next to my other 2 boxsets and various associated clam packs awaiting attention.
Yours loyally
Deadslinger
Month 3 (Jan 2011)
Dear Wyrd
You must be able to tap into my subconscious wish list as yet again all of this months releases are essential. With the release of the Taxidermist and Slop Haulers I now have an overwhelming desire to start a Gremlin crew, complete with Bayou scenery and gremlin village.Country music plays on the stereo as I place Decembers releases on an increasingly crowded shelf and get stuck into finishing Lady J`s crew. My wife`s frowning a bit at the amount of unstarted miniatures I`m amassing, but I`ve assured her that you probably wont be releasing anything else of interest to me for a while now and I`ll be starting on the previous releases very shortly.
I remain Loyally Yours
D
Month 4 (Feb 2011)
Dear Wyrd
I don`t Know if you read my last email, but my wifes looking slightly unamused as I order all of this months releases having just piled Januarys release onto the shelf above my painting table. This months mechanical Doves alone have inspired me to start a showgirls crew and all that goes with it. Lady J`s full crew with companions and accessories is finally complete and in an effort to convince the wife that I will get through this growing miniature mountain, I`ve started 2 new crews this month. The Ortega and McMourning crews now compete for limited table space whilst power metal plays on the stereo to facilitate a faster work ethic.
I remain a huge fan
D
Month 5 (March 2011)
Wyrd
Your creativity and imagination knows no bounds. March`s releases are fantastic. my shelf is beginning to groan a bit which is nothing compared to the wife, but I don`t want to seem unsupportive whilst you are producing such excellent products so have placed my order for all of this months releases as is becoming usual.
Your greatest fan
D
Month 6 (April 2011)
Wyrd
What are you trying to do to me? it isn`t that I don`t appreciate your productivity, but I`m falling behind on my sleep working all the overtime I can, to afford your new releases (and relevant older stock) and painting late into the night to clear the backlog. The shelf is beginning to list in a most alarming way. you must relax on your production schedule to allow me to catch up
D
Month 7 (May 2011)
Is this some sort of joke? I politely request that you allow me a little breathing space and you go and inspire the need for a neverborn crew with the beautiful Nekima and Blood Shaman minis. With the addition of last months releases my shelf is threatening complete exhaustion and with a horde of miniatures now crowding the table, the flesh construct has fell off the back and hooked into a plug socket. Any attempt to retrieve him delivers a jolt of electricity to my fragile body, deprived as it is of food and sleep as I spend every available moment trying to keep up with your relentless releases. Please lay off, it is not fair.
D
Month 8 (June 2011)
Wyrd
Who the hell gave you the right to demand more of my hard earned money with yet more absolutely essential purchases released this month. The Collodi boxset has inspired a full carnival, complete with fairground rides, stalls and puppet shows that will require a massive amount of time and effort. I haven`t eaten in weeks as I simply can`t afford the time for that as well. I`m now playing thrash metal on the stereo to try and speed up my production, miniatures are now crowding the table in a most disorganised fashion and I no longer know which belong to which crew. The Flesh Construct remains inaccessible and has been joined by a Warpig to complete a circuit with the metal table leg which gives me quite a start every time I attempt to stand. More and more additional crews and related scenery projects are being crammed onto the table and due to severe overcrowding and hasty construction and painting, the Insidious Madness hands are firmly stuck to Lucius backside whilst Somers face is firmly attached to Ophelias cleavage and Piglets nuzzle at various characters crotches! The whole scene looks like a grand decedant orgy in miniature. My wife is looking very annoyed with me and my maniacal frantic, bemused, helpless expression isn`t alleviating the problem.
D
Month 9 (July 2011)
Listen you Gremlins ass
I`m now playing old thrash records on 45rpm instead of 33rpm and straining to complete crews as fast as you`re producing vital releases such as the Dead Rider and Night Terrors for my Ressurectionists and inspiring a need for a Rasputina crew with Snowstorm while my poor wife is worried that we wont be able to afford the mortgage. I`m warning you, you`re making a Warhammer player of me.
D
Month 10 (August 2011)
Listen Piglet manure face
I hope you`ll be haunted by the image of me headbanging away to very fast,uproarious music whilst slinging glue and paint everywhere. It wasn`t a pleasant month with paint spillage and gluage mishaps.I managed to build up a good pace for a short while, but whilst hastily preparing minis I slipped and removed a finger which is going to slow my progress somewhat and in my current state of health I can ill afford the blood loss. Added to that my wife is now threatening divorce. It was bad enough knowing that I would have to order all of this months crucial Terraclips releases, but on top of that you scheming sons of witches make some special indispensable releases only available over the Gencon weekend. Where they`re all going to go when they arrive Lord knows.
Month 11 (September 2011)
You have broken my shelf you remorseless Rat Herders! The musics getting faster, the wifes getting angrier, the banks getting closer to re-possessing the house, I`m drowning in a sea of spiky metal miniatures doing me all sorts of mischief and Puppet Wars is released at the end of the month. I suppose you intend to keep up a relentless pace of new releases for that as well.......
Month 12 (Oct 2011)
Listen you slop bucket wearing gremlin
You have ruined my life. Septembers releases are yet to arrive, but I `m already in total chaos with no shelving and my wife's left to live with her mother. My record and CD collection is ruined by glue and paint and putty and blood from injuries sustained whilst negotiating the horde of miniatures and scenery flooding from my small hobby room. Octobers releases are some of your best yet and I have an urgent need for a Seamus crew having seen the alt. sculpt and Avatar and Molly`s finally here. And you call this a skirmish game played with small crews of miniatures.
I`m a broken man!
Deadslinger